i know we wont be able to be together anyway. but somehow i refusse the truth.
i bend my emotion sensor and my logical sense, trying to tell myself that we might
still have a chance being together oneday. and i wish it everyday that it might come
true. and i know how u feel hruting inside u just being strong. u miss how mush we
were in love back in the days. i know it, because i also miss the same thing.
if only i knew that i couldn't live without u earlier, i would do anthing to make
your family like me.but it was all too late for me to realize it earlier.. i'm so stupid..
i want to be like u.. being able to show that i'm also strong and i can manage even
we can't be together and in the same time trying to make you happy.. the word best friend
does hurt me a lot.. i couldn't cope yet with using the word best friend to u.. but i'll
try my best to comprehend it. we can only wish and plan like we wanted.. but we can't set
our own fate.. u wanted me to trying to find your replacement as soon as possible because
u can't stand see me hurt so much.. that shows how u love me so much.. always worried
about me and everything.. even sometime i wanted u to hate me.. hate me and throw me away..
coz i'm weighthing u down.. i don't have the strenght to let u go from the start.
i pull u don't with me.. so, if u want to be happy, just throw me away..
dont care about me.. care about yourself, your own happiness.. u deserve it..
go on with the guy u like.. i'll wish u the best wishes ever.. i wish that u would be
happier with the new guy. and someday u might forget about me.. the small mistake that
u been with long time ago.. :) i'll smile and hope that u will only shed tears of joys
and no more tears of pain from u.. and maybe one day, i will be able to live with the
truth that u are not mine anymore.. even if it still hurt some how whenever i remember
about us. if only i'm that strong.. if only.. if only everything is just a long nightmare,
and waking up seeing u sleep beside me as my wife.. if only.. if only i can wake from
this nightmare. if only i could erase our memories.. our love.. our promises.. us..
everything.. if only i could do that.. u might be able to live happy without me. my princess.

cute.

Time after time.

i have so much to tell u, so much things i want to share.. i don't even know where to start.. part that i hate and part that i love.. my new class.. my new friends.. my new roomate.. everything here is new to me.. but of all the things here, all i want is u.. i missed u so much.. for the whole month i couldn't see u.. i wanted to see u last week on my 4 days break.. that's the only time i could see u.. but u resist on meeting me.. but its okay.. i'm okay.. i've already waited u for years.. maybe i could wait for few more years.. when i'm far from u, u were busy with your friends and everything.. u couldn't give much attention to me.. nah.. but its okay.. i'm not sad.. u needed space.. that's all.. i'm alright.. sorry that i could meet u on your birthday this year.. i'm so sorry.. i was far from u and i couldn't get any holiday.. u told me how your family hates me.. but still, i love u.. we have been together for so many years.. i know when it come between me and your family, your family should come first. i know.. because if i were u, i would do that too.. so, from now onward.. u don't have to worry about my feeling anymore.. i'm a grown up now honey.. i can take care of myself.. it's just u that i'm worried.. i wish i cold look after u.. but, no matter what will happen next, i will still love u.. i don't have to say it, and u already know it right.. :) i couldn't promise that i won't do any stupid things.. but don't worry, i'll try my best to not do it.. i'll make more new friends just like u ask me too.. i'll improve my social skills just like want me too.. i'll focus on my study just like u advice me too.. maybe 1 day your mom will like me.. and when that day come.. i'll be the happiest guy on earth.. :) i love u.. forever and always.. thanks for everything sweetheart.. :)