where did you put yourself?

morning sunshine..how are you? fine? great? excellent? gloomy? blue?..oh,whatever it is and whatever you do, i hope you are always in bless.

i think it is too early to express my feeling, i can't sleep last night..yes, i tried but my mind keep on thinking this and that..hmmm~

yesterday, i was found something that make me feel sad, worried and confuse. its about fake identity or fake profile exist in fb using my name and picture. i really don't understand why does this happen. infect, what does he/she got after doing all this thing? satisfaction? enjoy telling lies? enjoy to make humility for others? to make someone love you? to express feeling?

people, this is not the right way to make some one love you, telling lies and express your feeling..also, to make fun of the others..this is not the way..its totally wrong! you don't have to do all this thing to gain attention by creating some lies..and then you're forget of what you have says..once you start lying and it will continue until the truth come out..and at that time, you will regret of what have you done before..shame on you!

why don't you be yourself? yes, the true YOU..why? because you hate yourself? you love being someone else? you can accept yourself? tell me...do and lighten me..tell me?i need to know..it hurts more than you ever thing. i'm not a perfect girl, he is not a perfect man, she is also not a perfect girl..and you, you also not a perfect human..so why don't you stop being other person and think negatively inside you. yes, people sometimes hate you..but why don't you change to better person and stop blaming others. if one person hate you and blame you, its okay..maybe he does not understand the way you think or the way you are. but if too many people hate you and complaining about yourself..they say you are jerk,selfish or some more..then, it probably true..you can't see your attitude..people reflect at their expression, their thought,their judgement from what they see and listen..you always think you are always right,they didn't accept the way you are, they didn't understand you..please stop it!you should stop blaming others or being so negatively..just try to fix yourself to be a better person..people is the mirror of yourself,they can fix you to be perfect, because they love to see the beautiful thing .

love yourself, respect people and at the same time respect yourself, gain some trust, fix what was wrong, stay with positive thing, try to be mature, try to put yourself in higher level by not doing the cheaper attention. then only, people start loving you, trust you, notice the existence of yourself.

i'm not mad or what...i'm just telling of what are you are supposed to be. to make you someone new, start step by step. improve yourself at the same time try too judge yourself..thats all

thanks reader(s)

p/s: i do hope some miracle will come..Allah always by my side. and i will keep on praying till the death of my life. "anything happen with the reason(s), sometimes it is out of our mind to think about it, but believe me..God knows better, He create us..believe His love..and please don't stop praying..because He is the one who are full of love"

study - task - test

lots of work...and i dont know which one should i start first..HELP ME...i'm totally dying now!!!!

engineering management this Friday test and (next week) need to submit the assignment

clinical engineering test (next week)

physiology and anatomy (next 2 weeks)

medical instrument (same week as physiology)

English workplace assignment due date and test in minute meeting assessment what so ever (same week as medical instrument and physiology)

owh...dear, i really need some space for breathing...the exact thing is I NEED A VACATION..URGENTLY! aaahhhhhh~........every week full of stress, task and mess...fine! fine! fine! i should stop complying this and that..i'm a student, this is how it supposed to be..but i'm really tired darling..=( sobs sobs sobs~

aaah~...i wonder, if i can marry right now...yes now! not tomorrow, not day after tomorrow, not next week or next month or next year...i want it right now! marry with rich man,right man,perfect man, short man,tall man, skinny man, fat man, spiderman, superman or batman..but not a gay-man (u are out of my list)...ahahhahahahah

ok..enough! i need to stop wasting my time..and start to work hard..maybe not so hard, a little hard and lot of focus...heeee~

p/s: count the sheep if you cant sleep...gud night love,gud night darling,gud night people~

can i?

i do miss blogging..but i'm too lazy to create my own blog. so, I've use mr. Teddy blog to express my feeling...how cute i am..ahahhaha.. dear, can i be 2nd owner of this blog while you are away..can i?can i? can i?...i know the answer, but i love to ask..and it prove that i'm not stubborn as u think..

emm...okay, before i start, let me introduce myself to all of you..my name is not so important,Mr. Teddy called me Baby...i dont know why? do i look like a baby? am i look too weak? oh gosh...hmmm~ i love if u can call me, Mrs. Teddy..hahahaaha.. i love food and i'm really enjoy with it..nom nom nom..i love cute + tiny + pink + fluffy + weird stuff..oh yes, i love my Sugar and Honey (my hamsters),Gemok and Muncit (my dear teddy) and also my sweet little buddy Mr Teddy so much..heeeeee~

okey~ talk to you later....

p/s: spread some love...help the FREEDOM of PALESTINE

for u...

Dear..

Sorry, lately I’m not feeling well. The weather was not so good; sometimes it is too hot and too cold. Two days I’m suffering for this fever, flu, sore throat and headache. Everything was combining into one and I’m very so not uncomfortable with this sickness.

By the way, you are coming back from holiday and away from home and all entertainment around you. So, I hope you can concentrate on your study and exam. Please make sure your eating on time, I’m happy if you can dinner early before 8pm and start study at 9pm or 10pm.
Oh dear, I’ve made a schedule from Monday to Friday. I hope you like it ^^

p/s:oh yes...please click the picture to view the schedule

Menanti kamu.

hm.. you've been busy lately.. and i've been missing out.. i miss you baby.. i really2 miss you.. where are you now.. i need you.. :( sorry if i'm not being a good friend to you lately.. i want you now.. please..

Reply letter to my love.

baby, i'm so sorry that i didn't reply you earlier. it has been sometime that we didn't meet each other, i mean went out dating and something like that. i miss our time together. and yeah, i still remember how we were back then on our first date. i was too nervous and i sweat a lot when we hold hands. :P sorry.. i can't control it dear. having a cute girlfriend like you is truly a dream come true you know.? hehe.. i felt like i had enough with everything and all i need is just you and you alone. :) you make me happy baby. but i was too stupid to let you go last time. i thought that you understood what i wanted to do. i wanted to be better and if its possible, to be perfect for you when i get back to you. i felt that i wasn't good enough for you. you are too good for me. so i when away thinking that my decision would be right. and when i'm back with you, i'll be a suitable boyfriend for you. a better one than what i use to be. but i didn't know what the consequence of leaving you like that without telling you the truth about what i'm going to do. i lose my grip when i knew that you were with someone else when i let you go. i fall apart. everything when upside down. i couldn't comprehend the heartbreak that i felt back than. and at that point, i know how you felt when i leave you back then. i break you heart. so i deserve to get what i did to you. the feeling was so vicious that i felt like life was not worth living anymore at that point. but thinking that one day, one day maybe we could get back together pull me back to reality. i stop being stupid and selfish. and i think at that time is that i would do anything to make sure you will be happy, even you wouldn't be with me. even i can't reach you. even i can't make you mine. i will always be your shadow. i'll be your listener if you wanted to tell me your story. i'll give you my shoulder if you wanted to cry. i'll be your best friend when you need one. :) and yes. i will be your friend forever. and i know you would do the same to me. because you do help me a lot when i was lost back then.
i do remember when we use to have our dream living together. having 4 kids and living in what kind of house and all. we were so happy to think that our dream would come true someday. but everything will stay as our dreams. :) but hey.. we can still be together right.. as friends.. :)

all in all, you don't have worry about me leaving you anymore. i will be by your side no matter what happen. unless you wanted me to go.. hehe.. i miss you. and i know i will miss you everyday. and you know it. but still. if its possible, i wanted to tell you everyday how much i miss you dear. :) go get yourself a good boyfriend next time okay! don't go searching for a guy like me. you could get a better one than me you know. :)

again "LOVE LETTER" hihi

Dear Mr. Teddy Bear

Almost 5 years we are being together and almost 5 years I think, I’m the one who cause you so much trouble. Dear, for the first time I loss you, I think this is the end of my life so I do a lot of mistake because nobody especially you will care about me…but after a few years and I’m getting older, I realize how stupid I am. L

After several month or year, you are back to me. You lighten my life, you give me the strength and now I can stand alone, be what I supposed to be, learnt from my past and the great thing is YOU always be by my side.

Dear Mr. Teddy Bear

I always dreaming something like I can’t achieve..the family issue was everything that can’t make this thing happen..I want to be your wife, have a three or four kids with you, cooking together, and get some vegetarian meals at night and so on. Oh yes, I think about what color our house will be..i love if its paint with light pink..hehehe how about our babies name?are they cute? Do you prefer all girls or all boys? Or maybe girl first and second should be a boy..yes!yes!yes! dear,lets building castle in the air….woohoooo~….

Dear Mr. Teddy Bear

Back then, I love being with you…will you be my buddy forever? will you? will you? I’m scared of the future, I do hope sometimes there will be a second chance for me to fix all this thing again..do you remember our first date? It is so lovely and I miss the moment where I’m very shy to face you, and your hand..i can’t forget how sweaty your hand..you are nervous but hey! you are still cute okey~..lets hold hand and see if it’s more sweaty or not ^^

I think this time I wrote too long..pfftt~…okay~okay~..i should continue later hehehe

p/s: reply me a.s.a.p or I will kick your-not-so-nice-ass..hehehe

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

o yeah! it has been sometime that i could enjoy being online and listening to good music on youtube without freaking long hours of buffering. and tonight, i'm listening to Daft Punk! Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. haha.. its a freaking catchy song. even though its an old song. but hey! a good music is to be enjoy all the time. and i enjoyed seeing how creatively people can be in making this music video much much better! at first i saw the fingers sign. then after that they do hand sign. and i just notice another one. body sign! awesomely done. ^__^ i don't have much to say. i'll just show u guys those vids i'm talking about. enjoy.










The finger play!






The hand sign!






The body work! 
all are nicely done! and i love em all.! ^__^

A reply for your love letter.

i never thought of being able to live without u ever baby. i know that it would be impossible for us to be together, but i never give up on us. i still believe that one day we could be together. that's why everyday i would remind u how much i love u. how much i want u. how much i miss u. and please don't ever say things like u feel like u are a piece of waste or something like that ever again. or i will bite u honey! u know how important u are to me right.? so please love yourself. don't say like that anymore okay.? u use to tell me that, if i wanted to love someone, i need to love myself first. so, that's what i did. i love myself and i love u. so u need to love yourself too. u always say that u are getting fat and all. but i never see that on u. all i see i the same person that i'm in love with almost 5 years ago. :) . the one that melt me every time she smile. i love u baby. please please please. stay with me even we can never be together. and as for me. the girl named "Yun" haven't start to grow on my heart yet. so honestly,  i haven't start to have feeling for her. maybe one day i will. but for now. my heart is only for u. and how i wish it will always be like that. :) and one more thing. next time. write me a proper love letter okay baby. and all i want is about us. not anyone else okay.? ^__^ .

p/s : just to remind u; i love u! wekk :P

Love Letter for the the little cute one =)

dear love,

it such been a month i think we never met and i think i'm too tired to count the day and thats the reason why i'm stop waiting.. but i think you are more patient than me and the only you just do is to remind me how special myself to you..and i just keep on silence when you says something like "i love u" and "i miss you"..i'm sorry, i'm too cruel to you cause you can count how many i reply back..but darling, don't worry even you didnt says something like that, i'm very well known how much your love to me..but for me, i want you become more stronger than before thats why i keep on silence..even though i think by the way i react you should can notice what i'm feeling to you..=)

dear, sometimes..i think i'm not the right girl for you.. you should open your heart..you are too kind for me,but i'm just a piece of waste just need to throw up and if you think you are very responsible person..you can also recycle me...ok,which type i am? glass?paper?or plastic? hihihi..ok, i'm very annoying right?...sorry~sorry~sorry~ but seriously, i meant what i'v says..okay! the gir name YUN is just look like suit for you..increase your effort,then she is yours.. ^^

dear, i dont know what i need to write about..this is my first letter..and it didnt look like love letter...again~sorry...T.T

p/s: err...my grammar n verb not good as yours...but i'l try my best..:( sorry

Maybe its time for you to move on.

yeah. i think its time babe. its your turn to have your own happiness.
he seems like a good guy to me. even i never meet him before. but i think
he is much much better than me. you do deserve him. and i'm sure he'll be able
to make you happy better than me. and the fact that we can never be together,
i would like to make sure that you found your happiness. maybe we weren't ment
to be together from the start anyway. like i told you last time. maybe i'm just
a mistake that you should remember as a lesson and move on. :) i don't know either
you love me anymore or not. i'm not very sure of that. you've changed from time to time.
you are not the same as the person i know before. who are very fond to me.
its like you can now live without me. you won't be needing me anymore. and i'm very proud of you.
i won't let myself being the one who will weighting you down. just fly. like a rocketeer!
^_^ you'll be better off without me.i don't want to be the one that stop you from being with him.
he'll take care of you, that's for sure. even if your heart do changed and begin to love him
back, it won't change the fact that i'll still love you. but you don't have to worry about
that. i won't be the obstacle in your relationship. i'll teach myself to manage on my own.
maybe one day, i'll found my own happiness. just like you did. :) you should start think
about yourself and stop thinking about me now. you even have someone else to think about now.
so go on, i'll support you in what ever you do. i'll be your friend in need. just like
you wanted me to be. go enjoy yourself.and please please please do not worry about me,
it might not seem like it, but i'll be okay..if you need anything, or anyone to talk to,
i'll always be there for you.. ^__^