Shit happens all the time.

i always think of myself as person that talk when i should talk.. so, i love being honest.. is that a crime? well.. for some people.. they dont like it.. so they scorn me.. and hate me so much.. hmm.. atleast i'm not as hypocrite as some people.. telling lies after lies.. so, the story that i'm going to write now is about me.. i'm the hero of the day.. so.. fuck u if u dont like if.. ok, i start now...

i used to have a close friend that i trusted most.. his name was F.. we use to hang out together with other friends and have so much fun.. going here n there, getting drunk together and all.. telling stories and secrets.. well.. and i thought i knew him well.. so when ever we go out, i treat him.. from his lunch, dinner, cigarette, movie tickets.. to fucking fueling up his car.. everything was all on me... i'm just like his second dad i think, coz i treat him more than i treat my gf! (now a.k.a. my ex gf).. kfc,mcd,bk,noodle station,kluang station, wendys, etc.. and even at the fucking mamak stall, i'm the 1 who will have to pay.. most of the things was paid by me.. my money... and what the fuck he just have to do? drive me around.. that's it.. there were this 1 week, i burn up about RM700 just hanging out for 7 days with him alone + 1 of our friend.. so, even a moron can count that i spend RM100 a day just because of him.. and he didnt even spend any shit.. not even 1 cent.. but for me.. it's ok i guess.. maybe 1 day, he'll treat me like i treat him right? and how stupid of me to think that would happen.. i even lent him RM500 just like that just because i thought, he's my close friend.. that would be ok i guess.. he'll pay..

even my other friends would call me stupid if they know this.. and just when i thought i knew him.. he back stab me.. he badmouth about me in front of our other friends.. and so.. as he think he so smart, he thought he would never get caught and our friends would believe that.. haha! fucker.. after what he did, all my friends tell me what he talk about me behind my back.. so..

in the end, i know he was just a hypocrite that used me.. shit..

hm, till now, i still wonder.. what did i do that make him do this to me.. fuck off u motherfucker bitch!! i hope u die in vain!!! hell's awaits u fucker!!!

Insomnia.

i've been having problems to sleep at night nowadays.. i can stay up late till 5 to 6 a.m. in the morning.. damn.. whats wrong with my body??? hm.. so i'm trying to sleep early.. but usually, i fail.. i'll be drifting away.. being out of range of my reality.. entering the fantasy that my own mind created.. smiling alone like a crazy person.. thinking about this and that.. and when i realize it, it was already 4 a.m. wth.. what is wrong with me.. do i need sleeping pills?? hm.. maybe i need em.. but i dont like pills.. i want something natural.. like vegetables.. the green one if u know what i mean.. haha!! damn i'm bored right now.. dont know what to do.. i just finish my class early cuz my lecture have to end the class early as he have a meeting to attend.. i havent had my lunch yet.. but i'm not that hungry.. so.. what should i do.. sleep... haha! thats it.. sleep time!!!........
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

New resolution.

i've been thinking for a new idea.. not exactly an idea.. but.. er.. a resolution.. well.. the things is that i want my old figure back.. haha! shit.. i'm getting fatter and fatter everyday.. damn u got to stop eating fast food man! haha! hm.. i use to have a good figure.. i guess.. haha! then how come those girl say that i'm cute?? haha! wtf.... so.. from now on.. i'll try to go on diet.. diet?? wtf is that?? i wouldn't call it diet.. that's too funny.. haha! i'll call it reincarnation! nice one hah.. hahaha!!! it's a boring sunday evening.. what should i do now? go for a swim? fuck no.. go for a jog.. damn i'm lazy.. play dota? no mood... hm.. then what??? go masturbate?? fuck thats boring to death... so.. i decided to just go online for a while.. browsing peoples pic in myspace.. open up fb..taking up some stupid quiz.. do some shit.. open up youtube.. hearing canon rock.. Beethoven... fur Elise.. moonlight sonata.. fuck it... tenacious d.... bla3.. and so and forth.. etc.. i don't know what to write anymore and i'm feeling pretty dumb right now.... but still i dont know what to do... cut myself? hm.. i've lostt my knife.. dont know where did i put it.. damn it! so, what should i do?? sleep? unfortunately.. i'm not sleepy.. how can i sleep.. hm.. eat? i'm not hungry.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......... ahah! watch porn.. ... but i'm not in the mood.. wth.. hm.. ok.. i'll just listen to the music.. put all of em together and play it random.. let see what song will come out.. haha! metallica - nothing else matter. damn thats a good song.. two thumbs up!!

Setting myself.

i've been always wondering, what am i going to be in the next 5 years.? well.. if u ask me.? i'll can only say "i don't know...." hm... i've already took a wrong step in my decision last time and cause me a fucking lost of almost half a year and what did i get?? nothing! and now, with nothing to loose, i think that i've change.. but in the end.. nothing change.. i'm always the same me.. with fucking sick mind.. bless with wonderful family and friends.. push to the edge of a broken hearted man, i'm still me. trying to do sick things.. creating scene just to get attention from my friends.. hm.. well, i guess i better start something. start moving. or else, i can never change.. i have to set myself to be a mover.. i dont want to die with people just remembering my name... but i want to make people remember me as a mover.. a person who can advise others.. hah! that's it.. i'll change my course and i'll be a motivator.. that's sound nice.. haha!