Emptiness.

well, it's been awhile since i post something on this blog.. not quite in the mood to talk about anything or something lately, plus got no space and time to blog, much thing happened in this house. felt like living in a zoo.. haha.. my nephews and nieces are here.. holiday time.. so they conquer much of the space around this house.. so, privacy is not what i had right now. but it's ok.. i'm used to that kinda stuff. i used to live with my friends in shah alam and i didn't even stay in my room. felt better being outside the room.. it make me feel that i'm not alone.. i'll always have at least someone or somebody to talk with whenever they are home. so, in this case right now.. i'm ok.. it's normal to me.. i'm happy that they are here.. it make this house livelier and more fun.. but these kids nowadays.. they to much depend on electronic games.. only play outside when they were ask to.. =_=" damn.. all they do is play my mom's laptop and play ps2.. so the tv would be occupied by them, unless they were ask to not to play ps at that time.. hehe.. sometimes i even play ps with them.. so we are even.. but lately i felt empty even with all this loud noise and so much people inside the house.. i felt lonely.. well, the thing is, my girl flew away to japan a couple days ago.. starting from that point, my cellphone is in no use anymore.. i got nobody else to text or call.. and so we can still use fb or skype.. but then, still, i need to hear her voice.. oh God i missed her so much.. so damn much i need her right now.. hm.. maybe i'm just being too selfish.. i also need to think about her feeling not just mine.. if i were her, i would also want to spend more time with my parents if they are far away and couldn't reach them often.. so, she must have missed them so much.. must have so many things to talk and share.. so much emotion to share.. :) i'm sorry baby.. i'm sorry for being so selfish.. i wanted u to be mine alone.. i know i shouldn't do that.. but u are everything to me.. that's why i need u sooo much~ there is no word to describe how much i miss u.. sorry that i didn't get to pickup the phone when u called before ur flight.. i'm totally sorry.. i didn't do it on purpose.. the phone was in the room and i'm outside with the kids.. sorry baby.. i wish i was holding my phone all the time that time.. hm.. i really2 miss u.. those 4 days we spent together are the best i ever had with u.. i wish we could spend more time together more often.. u were so happy when i heard u talk about what happen when u arrive there.. everything is lovely there.. yeah.. being with family is the best.. but don't worry baby, this is just my another blue friday, felt lonely tho. i'm not in a good mood.. so sorry.. i might hurt ur feeling when i didn't say much when we chat today.. how stupid of me stalking ur page and get jealous for those silly things.. there are your friends.. that's what friends do right.. comment on each other pages. but the thing that kill my mood is that recalling my stupidity on those action i take.. those stupid action i do when i called ur mom last time.. i'm so sorry dear.. no wonder they hate me till now.. i must be the worst in-law that they imagine would be ur husband someday.. hm.. but it's ok.. i'll change.. i'll try.. but if everything i done after that still make no different to them..  well, i don't want to think of what will happen after that right now.. all i need right now is u.. please baby.. hold me tight.. i'm afraid that i can't face the world if i'm not with u.. i love u very much.. :)
hope to see u soon dear..