cake cake cake~

my baby ask me to bake a cake for her. to be specific. moist chocolate cake. but i can only do normal chocolate cake. hope that will be good enough. sorry baby. and as for experimental cake, i baked a vanilla cake. i don't have the picture of my vanilla cake to show to you. but it look something like this picture. T_T

this is so sad. i don't want to be like that. :(

but as for tomorrow, i will try my best to make a better one. a nice decent chocolate cake. and i hope it would turn out to be something like this..

wow! haha.. i'm just joking.. i can't make that.. 

just as simple as this one will do.. :P

this one i can do. hehe.. okay.. have to wait till tomorrow.. i will make this one for you baby.. :) hope you'll like it..

the weather is killing me!

even the ice-cream van is melted down.! =_="

it truly is hot this week. felt like sitting in an oven even when i'm at home facing my fan on full speed.! hoh~ plus my runny nose is not helping me.. and my sore throat ain't got any better.. my mom ask me to drink a lot.. and i drink as much as i could.. but nothing change.. =..=" help me.. i'm dying..

owh yea.. before i forget. i found this vid while watching youtube.. and i hope u like this song baby.. 

lets go to Malaysia!

well....i realize some readers are not from Malaysia. so, i decided to wrote a few things about my beloved country. my country was located in southeast asia which is near to Singapore, Brunei, Thailand and also Indonesia.

in my country, our language is in Bahasa Melayu but dont worry, most of us can speak English. well..i didnt says like most of us are fluent in English, but they can understand in case when you are lost or ask for direction. ^_^

what else? places to vist..yeah! i would like to suggest Tioman Island, Langkawi Island and  Sipadan Island. i'm sure you can make a lot activity there. besides, the beaches are clean especially in Sipadan Island..but i'm not sure if you can do surfing.

sipadan island 

 langkawi island

if you love to do some juggle tracking or want to feel near to nature, you can go to National Park. the service quite nice. they also provide more facilities such as for traveling and  safety while you were there.

both pictures from National Park

do we have a night life? of course we do!!..but if you want the real night life..you can spend your night at Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur (i mean..this city never ever sleep...24 hour full of people..)

Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur

do you love shopping? yes?...i suggest the best place for shopping is in KLCC and Pavilion. but if you want to find some weird stuff, i guess the best place is in Padang Besar in Perlis. you can also go to Little India  in Brickfields in Kuala Lumpur where you can find Indian stuff such as saris and dhoti.

KLCC

Little India, Kuala Lumpur

Padang Besar, Perlis

thats all, have a great Sunday people.

p/s: oh...theres a thousand of food you should try. have fun!

Mothers day! yippieeee~

ok, since tomorrow is Mothers day..what is the present to give to her...any suggestion???? teddy? chocolate?cakes? lame......~ ahahaha..why dont you give something that she can forget forever..ok, here some suggestion from me...

• HUGS and KISSES

     
- funny?..yes...funny..i do feel the same thing but..this is a great idea...hahaha..why???because we are not getting younger and your mum is getting older..(ok, same thing i guess..ehehe) you always kiss and hugs your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife..what else...cats/dogs...ok,whatever it is..i'm sure,not all us always hugs and kiss your own mother right? why dont we change the perception of this...starts from now, every mothers day we should wish her and give hugs and kisses...she will loved that.

• a dozen of ROSES

- yeah...roses...because i'm a women (not a mother yet) i do love some flowers especially roses..if your mother are working, i guess it is not wrong if you ask the florist to deliver the roses to your mum office. (she must be surprised..ehehehe)

• a special meal from your kitchen

-well this is quite tough. you need to cooked to your mum but it should must be fun if you prepare the meals with your sibling and dad.

• 1 week good manners

- what is this? to be good???? this is not a Christmas yet.. i do love to get mess with my mum and look at her angry faces...ehehehe..well,the thing is...this is only just for 1 week..yes!..only 1 week you just need to be good, make your mum relax and proud for whole 1 week and  also dont make her stress. is it hard for you??.. you just need to be good and do some cleaning stuff. but if you got a maid..you dun have to do some cleaning stuff right?..ehehehe

well, thats all from me.. Happy Mothers Day....

p/s: for me, everyday is Mothers Day..

meow~

its been ages since i myself wrote something here. this whole time was my beloved mucuk who's so rajin updating this blog.. thanks to her, this blog is still alive~ yeah! hehe.. give her a big clap... em.. and i kinda missed her so much. erm.. nope. that not the right word to use. i should say that i'm crazily missing her all the time! i wish u were here my dear.. hm.. i got no idea on what should i write right now. its been a long time since i do any post. so, maybe if i'm rajin enough to make any post. it'll be in this week. coz this is my semester break. even sadly its only for a week. i'll make it count somehow! oh yeah.. before i forget. happy mother's day to my mom.. thanks mom.. u are my world.. thanks for giving me a life.. i can still feel the warmness of your hugs and kisses u gave to me since i was little.. i can never repay u in anyway.. but someday i'll take good care of you as u did to me.. i love u mom.. forever and ever.. happy mother's day mom.. and happy mother's day too to all of the mother in the world.. salute.! which means "long live" to all of you.




for u mom..

just like %^&*

tomorrow is my 3rd paper..2 more papers to go! but, i didnt have any mood study for tomorrow paper. i feel like shit, but i still do nothing. browsing this and that, listen to music, playing stupid games..and now, i'm blogging...whatever it is, it looks like i dont care right? but, i do care..but...i just dont know.. my heart is not here, my mind keep on flying to somewhere i really dont know..

ok, i want to force myself to study

p/s: i feel bad...bad...and bad..

how to loose weight

ok, first of all..i want to says i'm not a doctor or food specialist. but, i want to share some tips with you. if you want to loose weight by my way. well, i'm not guarantee it works 100%, but it works for me.

1. eat more food based on fiber

-well, based on my studies. our body didnt keep the fiber inside body. the fiber intend to absorbs all fats and calories in our body and discard it in our feces. so, for those who doesnt know what is fiber food; you can search the pyramid food..

example of fiber food : bran cereal, oatmeal, banana, raisins, almond, peanuts and sprout beans.

2. start eating with protein

-why? because in our taste buds (taste receptors), it starts with carbohydrate. as we all know, fat from carbohydrate, so..slow down the production of enzyme which to break/digest the carbohydrate..we starts with protein and continue with anything from carbohydrate. get it? (i try so hard to explain to you..i hope you can understand huhuhu)

3. avoid fast food, tidbits, junk food, sweets and ice cream

- sometimes it is so hard to avoid this thing. yes, i know..i do feel what your feeling, but its okay if you want to grab it once in a while..i mean in small quantity..yup, theres nothing wrong with it. but remember, as long as you can hold what you want, then only you can get what you need.

4. dinner before 7pm

-i think this is not so hard right, eat before 7pm. but i suggest, dont dinner too early coz u may start starving in the middle night. hmmm...but if you still hungry, take salads in your meals okay?

5. avoid supper

-yes, please do avoid supper. its not good actually coz it takes 5 hour to digest,well can you imagine if you take supper than you go to sleep. if you continue your life like this everyday in 3years, then you become obese. in this case, if you eat veggie or fruits,its okay..other than that,NO!

6. drink a lot of water

-when i said water it means mineral water. do you know men 60% inside them are liquid while women 55%. why? the fact is, women contain more fat than man, thats why women are more easily get fat then man. where are the damn fat?...breast,ass,tummy...what else...hahaha..you know better than me..

7. dont eat too much meat

-eat meat only once in a week with small quantity. switch meat with fish or chicken/trukey.

last but not lease...as usual, people may ask you to exercise..yes, lame~....hahaha...i also lazy to exercise..but, yeah! try 7 tips above slowly..and pleas do not take any pills or whatever eating/ creme product that can reduce your weight faster. maybe it is works, but you never know the impact of taking those thing, right?

p/s: it is good if you can eat a lot of veggie...

Rabu = Wednesday

di hari Rabu yang indah...aku bangun pukul 11.30 pagi, kalau boleh..memang tak nak bangun..tido sampai ke petang pun sangat indah..tapi, disebabkan nak study..terpaksa la aku gagahkan juga badan ni bangun.

macam biasa, bangun2 buka fb..ok, notification memang selalunya kosong..tak ada simbol kaler merah pun..bosan..bosan..lepas bangun puas ngadap fb, pergi la menggosok gigi sambil pejam mata..ambil feel tu sangat penting ye..cuci muka..ok dah, masuk bilik balik..baring2

lepas tu, baca masej kat hp buruk ni..ada orang ajak lunch..malas nye nak lunch, x lapar pun. tapi salin je la baju..hehehe..nanti2 je mandi..(haih..buruk nye perangai..ahahaha)..pas dah salin baju..bau sikit badan, ada bau tak mandi ke..cam biasa, memang tak ada sebab aku tak ada masalah bau badan ni..hihihi

merempit lah kami berdua ke kafe. sebenarnya, boleh jalan kaki..tapi jauh la. by the time sampai nanti dah tak ada tenaga dah nak makan. so, terpaksa la naik moto je..boleh naik kereta, tapi aku tak rasa nak drive..naik moto lebih senang nak cari parking kan..hihihi

setibanya aku di kafe..aku pun bersuke ria..sebuk dalam imiginasi sendiri..tiba-tiba~ aku boleh pulak terpeleot mase nak melangkah..nasib baik lah tak jatuh longkang..huuuu~ tapi still tak bernasib baik juga, sebab ada 1 table meja yang ada 4 orang lelaki terperasan masa aku terpeleot..dan dorang sangat keji...huhuhu...dorang boleh plak gelakkan aku yang merangkap orang dalam kesusahan ni. pastu plak, kawan aku ni ley plak buat2 tak nampak macam aku ni makhluk asing..korang sume ni memang kentut baik sungguh la...eeeeee! geram betul..

ok, aku masa ni..tak terkata..nak malu pun ye,nak cover pon ye..rasa lawak pun ye...ok, please la..aku tak tahu kenapa kejadian macam ni selalu jadi. geram betul. jatuh saham aku macam ni..huhuhu baru pakai selipar jamban biasa je dah terpeleot, belum lagi pakai heels..tapi serius la, ankle kaki aku memang sakit gile sampai sekarang...mane Encik Beruang ni, harap je nurse..bukan nak tolong aku...ahahahhaha

ok, tu je kisah dihari Rabu yang tak berapa cam best...by the way, aku ingat muka mamat baju putih yang gelakkan aku tak hingat dunia..siap perli2 lagi...eeee....sekeh laju2 karang tahu la kau nanti..

ok, dah..babai la..

p/s: aku tak nak lalu tempat yang sama dengan baju yang sama untuk sem ni..sem depan mesti kau dah lupa kan, hehehehehe so, tak pe..ada ubi, ada batass..ada hari aku balas..adios!

the requirement to be my man

right now,i'm thinking about future..it seems like most people around my age getting married and i'm still here...studying..and keep on studying..stuck with my own world,nothing much to tell you..didnt have any boyfriend to hang out etc etc...well, i dont mind...

one of my friend said" you are not getting younger, please give a chance for someone in your life..dont be too choosy"...yes,i'm too choosy coz i have my own right to choose the best man in my life.

i know what i want, i dont want to made another mistake in my life again. then i state "the requirement to be my man" here.

1) you dont have to be millionaire, but enough if u can support your family and yourself.
2) you dont have to be sweet talker, but enough if you can make me laugh and smile.
3) you dont have to express how much do you love me, but enough if you can love my family as yours and love me as you love yourself.
4) you dont have to be so perfectionist, but enough if you can learn from your mistake
5) you just need to say "i'm sorry/saya minta maaf" if you are wrong.
6) you need to be an independent (in cooking and cleaning)
7) you must hold on to your words especially when you promise.
8) you must the one who do it 1st whatever and whenever you are advising me to do so.
9) you must respect me,my family and your family.
10) you must have the leader criteria if you want me to follow you.

and if you think you have all those above, please step forward. i do want to know you. the extra marks will be given to those who have at least 5 points bellow:

1) funny
2) not hot tampered
3) have an education
4) have a good relationship with family
5) high level of confident
6) animal lover
7) kindly
8) stable condition

oh, i forgot...if you have at least one of this thing below, please dont contact me again.

1) lier
2) gold digger
3) always want to win
4) always think you are always right
5) hot tempered
6) lazy bum
7) drinker
8) smoker
9) drug addict/drug supplier/drug processor and/or whatever relates with it
10) love to take a loan with friends/family without any good reasons
11) like to take others opportunity
12) like to blame others
13) love to go clubbing/disco/party and/or whatever relates with it
14) thief/burglar/snatcher/criminals
15) rempit
16) bi-sex

ok, i'm not fun right. yes, i admit it. so? do you have any problems...i guess no.

p/s: thank you!

mumbling mumbling

wohooooo! finally...physio is OVER...oh yeah!!!!! even though i'm not memorize all the lecturer's note...but i'm really proud for myself cause i did a great job. sacrifice my sleep to study physio really worth it..Alhamdulillah..thank god for everything and anything, without your love i'm nothing.

well, the good news never stop there..i've meet my friend and he offer to accompany me to buy some food which is not so far, but at least i've got friend when my best friend not around. as usual, Mr Teddy got some jealousy.."dear, he is just one of my best friend. dont take it serious ok..hehehe"

ok, i'm not telling much detail about him. but the thing i want to tell you is, my car (actually..it is not my car, it is my mother's car) cant start. i've try so many times and it not work it. well, i do wanna bring it to service centre but...ok, my fault~ hmmm...i'm too tired and double lazy..i've got paper in morning and i'm taking only 1 hour for sleep..i'm skip my breakfast and lunch because i didnt have any energy to eat..so...my poor car, stay at cafe and tomorrow morning wish is this morning, i'll go there and try to start the engine again. i do hope some miracle...=( will u pray for me?

ok, i'm so sad and scared. what if it not work it? i'm sure there is nothing wrong with the battery..maybe spark plug got some problem or maybe the starter need to be tune or what? i've got no idea about car. if bicycle,it should be easy right? oh my.......~ i'm speechless..

got a go!

p/s: i miss my family so badly...

stress is beautiful??

define stress:

Mr. Wiki says = It refers to the consequence of the failure of an organism – human or animal – to respond adequately to mental, emotional or physical demands, whether actual or imagined.

from my view, stress define when I'm start abuse on purposely to my brain. seriously i'm tired, but i cant sleep..every night take a tin of nescafe..too scared for something like i'm not sure..(tapi sempat lagi update blog)

doctor says, pressure is not good for health..lecturer says please do more exercise/homework/readings/study/memorizing/calculations coz in a few days/weeks/month we have some exam/test/presentation/submission...parents says you must get a first class and please make us proud..student says, i'm about to dying in a few years for a roll of degree/diploma.

haih~...student memang selalu dalam dilema la...kalau tak ada pressure memang kerja tak jalan, bila kerja tak jalan macam2 jadi sebab ramai yang letak harapan yang tinggi..tapi bila pressure, tension and stress membuak2..macam nak pecah kepala ni..huhuhu

tapi kali ni memang tension sangat sebab physio...physio itu terlampau banyak yang perlu diingat..orang yang dah biasa ngadap math tiba2 kena hafal, memang macam ni la nasibnya..nak kesian ke tak, tak tau la..yang penting memang kena skor A (bukan yang jual2 barang Skor A tu ye...) sebab subjek 3 kredit, kalau dapat teruk memang mebunuh la....huhu

ni kat bawah ni saje letak..suke2 hiasan..asik letak vedio je kan..^_________^

(ok, tulisan memang buruk...tapi still ley bace kan..hihihi)

gambar2 kat atas ni suku pon belum sampai..tapi takkan nak tunjuk semua yang aku duk merungut ni kan..nanti ada orang meluat tengok perangai aku yang macam agak annoying ni pula kan..

well, i've just start my final last day..it is English workplace...Alhamdulillah..everything just fine, i'm starting with doa and do it with my very best. i hope i've got an A for this subject..hopefully...please pray for my success..i do hope some miracle in this semester, i want to prove to someone that i can stand alone WITHOUT him. he says i cant do anything better in my life.."dude, one day u will see me with my bright smile in my own suit,at that time i will make u regret of what u r saying to me. the person who u think too weak is one of your boss..hell yeah!"

ok, sekarang sangat berkobar2 nak buat kerja..(d ^_^ b) good luck to all of you! may Allah bless us..keep on praying!

p/s: dont count the sheep if you cant sleep..read some notes, it may help u in memorizing while u r asleep...trust me!

nothing to share

last week i've installed my browser with Opera since my google chrome got some problem because of virus..comment? seriously, too slow and not so friendly user..betu ni,tak tipu! Opera's user jangan marah la, ni pendapat saya je ye..

but last day ada ter"install" safari masa update itunes..asalnya tak cadang nak guna pun, tapi biarkan dulu sebab fikir nanti2 boleh remove kan..tapi bila dah start guna..safari is the best la so far, kalah google chrome and any other browser yang lain..dia sangat2 menepati cita rasa and tak rasa sakit hati macam guna Opera tu..hehehe

tapi kan, saya masih merindui google chrome..tapi buat masa ni tak nak download yang baru dulu..tunggu bila dah betul2 free baru buat segala kerja.

oh, teringat Mr Teddy cakap masa saya merungut laptop kena virus teruk sangat "yang awak pergi berkongsi pendrive tu buat apa. benda ni sama macam berkongsi jarum la. orang kongsi jarum kena la Aids..awak kongsi pendrive dapat virus, pastu merebak 1 laptop. padan muka!" huhuhu..kan dah kena..tak pasal2 kena marah..hehehe..tapi tak ada la takut sangat sebab dia tak ada la garang sangat. dah lali kena marah..hehehe..

ok, nak tido.

bye

p/s: minta2 esok lebih baik dari hari ni...amin

flash mob

tadi mase tengah browse kat youtube..ada terjumpa video ni..tak ada la baru sangat..buat quite amazing la, since the dancers half kids in primary and secondary school kan..
good job! i really enjoy watching your performance..

tapi kan, kalau baca dekat comments from youtube, sedih sedikit la. mentaliti rakyat malaysia tak pernah berubah. mengata itu ini..macam diri sendiri tu best sangat. kesian....

well, those yang mengata tu maybe dengki sebab tak dapat nak join..or maybe, dorang tak suka tengok sesuatu yang baik..well, its for charity kan..lagi pun yang join tu mostly budak2 kecik..its ok la, daripada duduk melepak dekat tangga shopping mall, hisap dadah, merempit sini sana tu..benda ni lagi bagus, at least diaorang ley prove something to people..level of their confident sangat tinggi..ala,jangan nak pandang rendah sangat..sekuarang2 nya dorang lagi baik dari kau, kau present depan lecturer pun dah menggeletar satu badan..hehehe betul kan? aku pun macam tu jugak kadang2..sebab tu jangan nak rendahkan orang lain ye kawan2..

bukan sebab aku ni terlalu moden sampai pikir macam tu, tapi logik kan apa aku kata..my liltle sister pun ada yang masuk event2 macam ni kat sekolah dia..carol night apa bagai semua..tengok sekarang, dia dah tak malu untuk berdiri seorang2 cakap depan orang ramai..she also can sing in front people..and she is only 10 years old, comel kan..heeee~ ^^

ok, tu je nak bebel petang2 ni..byee

p/s: sakit gigi sebab makan daging T_T

THIS IS A WAR!!!!

this week i'm starting to face my final exam for this semester in about three weeks! OMG..yes! OMG again....i'm so nervous because i'm not finish my revision yet. (tu la..siapa suruh study last minute! padam muka kau!)

but lucky on me cause i've got a little hints from my beloved lecturer. ok, now i'm start to loving you more DR. ehehehe.. awkward! AHAHAHAHA... hey! she's lovely even though she's quite strict. thank you DR, i'll do my best in Physio and Anatomy this Saturday..PROMISE!!!

owh!i've got good news to tell you! my sister get an offer to further study in Egypt..CONGRATS!! i wonder something..oh!she can use camel for her traveling..(tak payah la susah2 nak ambil international lesen kan) well~...go green! ehehehe

ok,thats all..i need to hafal hafal dan hafal lagi..sampai mata rabak..damn~

p/s: masa exam la toyol sume keluar..hati2 ye, jangan sampai tertangkap..sia2 je belaja 14 minggu nanti..

p/s:: i miss my u very badly!

song

i love this song more than (bruno mars-just the way you are) and this song keep on playing in my mind. i've loss the stop button. heee~ besides...she looks so pretty here...i love her hair..oh, now i'm regret for cutting my hair..T_T

p/s: lately, Mr Teddy very busy..i've got a chance for "berfoya-foya"..hehehe

KFC and me.

hari ni hari Sabtu dan kat luar sana masih lagi hujan lebat (saya sangat suka kan hujan..bukan kumpulan Hujan)..oh, yes..hari ni sangat lapar,bukan lapar kan nasi..tapi laparkan KFC..gile! boley gemuk macam ni..ahahaha

oh, because i'm craving for something like Makcik Kafe cant cook. so, i went to Jusco to grab some meal there. ehehee ...alasan..alasan...(tapi betul la..saya bukan sengaja, tapi terpaksa) ehehe..ok, sambung cerita. its really heavy rain outside and i'm driving alone. quite scared but i cant even bear with my little tummy. ehehe baik kan saya..

berlari2 anak lah saya masa dah samapi situ sebab tak dapat parking yang berbumbung..basah kuyup walaupun dah pakai payung...huuuu~ ok, now my mission untuk sampai dalam KFC dah tercapai. so, saya pun beratur. lama nye..mase ni la semua orang pun sebuk nak makan kat situ...grrrr~...dah la tengah sejuk2 ni...

ok, bila dah sampai masanya untuk saya bagi order. saya dengan mata yang penuh bercahaya ni pun order la dekat akak tu. tibe2...haa....kat kaunter sebelah tu ada sorang mamat ni. nak cakap handsome, ok la..comel jugak.. but, he is not my type la kan. (ceh, macam lawa sangat je kan..ehehehe) saya tak sedar sebenarnya saya sedang termenung kan muke mamat tu. tapi his face macam familiar, salah saya ke? huhu..tiba2(ok, tiba2 lagi..) akak yang ambil order saya terus tanya "abang tu handsome kan?" and saya reply "uh?" (ok, bayangkan muka saya tengah blur time ni...) akak tu ley ulang balik soalan tadi..huuuuuuu~....i mean, saya dengar ape akak tu cakap..but i didnt purposely la nak termenung tengok muka mamat tu...malu nye...should i wear black glasses kalau nak datang situ lagi? seriously, malu gile. huhuhu..

whats wrong with me?i'm keep on doing something like embracing myself..cipan betul la.ok, till then. bye~

p/s: Mr. Sugar bite my little finger til bleeding, now i'm starting to hate him. lempang laju2 karang mati pulak..huuuu~

luahkan perasaan

hari ni emosi sikit rasanya. nak tulis status kat fb tapi serba salah. kenapa? sebab rasa macam tak patut tapi nak luahkan juga. salah ke? jadi luah kan kat sini je la. tak pe kan?..

emm...sebenarnya, tak berapa nak suka approve orang yang sama dua kali. oh, bukan account yang berbeza, tapi account yang sama. yela, dulu dah approve, lepas tu kena delete..i mean, bila kau dah delete orang tu tiba2 kau nak friend balik dengan orang tu, apa kes kan? dunia oh dunia..

tak kesah la orang tu sape pon, sedara ke, kawan ke or sape2 je la..memang tak suka macam tu. kau dah pernah delete, bukannya aku yang delete kau an..pastu nak jadi friend balik, kau nak buat apa? nak stalk ke hapa? silap besar la babe..aku bukan jenis yang senang2 je nak tambah kawan ni. lagi sikit lagi bagus, senang sikit nak tapis2 ni. kalau ada ramai2 buat semak je. bia la orang nak pikir aku ni ape, sombong ke? belagak ke? kau susah apa an..yang penting aku tak pernah pon nak kacau or ambik tau pun pasal hidup kau. fair kan?

ye la..masalah kecik, tak payah la nak besar2 kan..masalah remeh ni macam masalah kentut je an. lain la kalau masalah tak boleh berak ke ape ke..haa~ ye la, emosi sikit..bukan sikit kot, banyak ni.

ntah la...sorry kalau ada yang terasa, aku cakap straight to the point sangat ke? ye la, aku silap..kena cakap lembut2 kan..tapi kalau aku cakap lembut2, kau tak paham.. kalau aku cakap berkias2, kau salah paham..bestu..aku nak cakap macam mana?

banyak masalah sebenarnya, bila kumpul semua..dah macam bukit dah..banyak sangat simpan dalam hati, yela..aku salah lagi. aku tahu. aku tak patut simpan dalam hati. tapi macam mana? aku kena banyak jage hati orang. dengan kawan baik sendiri pun aku selalu terasa, habis tu..aku kena ke penting kan diri aku ni? patut ke? aku memang susah nak jaga perasaan sendiri. aku duduk dalam komuniti yang aku sendiri tak faham.

biar lah ape nak jadi pun. aku diam je. aku cuba tak marah. cuba tak bangkitkan konflik. sabar je kut. tapi tak tahu sampai bila boleh sabar. lantak lah. lama2 reda la hati ni. aku memang teruk.

hmm...sudah lah. aku nak cari ketenangan. kat mana? aku pun tak tahu. nanti2 jumpa lah tu. bila? kejap lagi ke? ntah la.

bye.

p/s: celaru

nyamuk yang membencikan

sekarang ni musim banyak nyamuk ke? besar2 pulak tu nyamuk2 ni...grrrr....bengang betul, bukak tingkap salah, tak bukak tingkap pon salah..geram la ni kan..kalau nyamuk2 ni baik2 belaka, tak pe la jugak..ni memang menyakitkan hati...kulit i ni dah la dasar yang mengada-ngada, garu2 je mesti pastu bertanda..eeeee!

mesti you all bengang kan, ape jadah nye dia ni nak bebel pasal nyamuk..."pasang la ubat nyamuk, ape susah"..meh cheq nak habaq mai ni, nyamuk at my place ni memang kebal lain macam..dah la kebal, besar pulak tu...T_T senang cite, memang macam mafia la..tak takut orang walaupun orang tu dah kira macam raksaksa pada dia...haaaaaaaaa~

bukan nak cakap ape, sampai sekarang ni i duk tergaru2 macam orang tak pernah mandi seminggu...Mr Sugar and Miss Honey tu, tak nak plak dia gigit..i yang tak bersalah ni digigitnya..cipan betol la!

dah la, tak de mood nak cakap banyak...

p/s: mencik! mencik!...ahahahaha (manje tak?)

The irregular things

Hmmm….lately, my life was irregular. I sleep around 4 to 5 am, I eat once in a day and my weight has reduce from 55kg to 52kg…wow~…gila kn..kalau seminggu dah turun 2kg, habis sem nanti i tinggal rangka saja..hihihihi

From now on, I think about fasting. Yes! Fasting! Besides, I tak habis pon lagi ganti puasa tahun lepas..kiranya, sambil menyelam minum air lah kan..ehehe

Em….lately I’m a bit lazy to update about my life here. Oh my~…does anyone care about it? I guess NO..ahahaha…oh, there are a few good news for me. My dad bought me a digital camera (please don’t you ever imagine about DLSR..i’m not into it), I’ve done my last project in PBL lab (yeah! But until right now, I can’t understand how it works…sobs sobs sobs) and the last thing is i’ve got new bottle (hope I didn’t lose it again)..^_^

Ok, that’s all…i need to sleep, does anyone would like to sing some lullaby songs for me?..oh ok~ again, the answer always NO..ehehehe…bye bye

p/s: please be my pillow..

just a song

i've just falling in love with this song...



keep on raping the replay button..^^

i love your weakness

yes i do! i do! i do!..

you don't have to be so perfect cause as an ordinary girl like me, i don't search for Mr. Perfect.. i'm looking for something like simple and easy. you don't have to try so hard to propitiate me. i love to see your weakness, i love when your not pretending to be someone else and i love you as who you are.

yet, everyone have at least one bad habit, but you can improve it, right?..life is easy if you know what do you really want, say it clearly what do you love and hate to your buddy or people around you.in my case, i admit i am materialistic, i'm not so social person, i have trouble to trust new people and i'm very mad when someone lying or pretend to me, i didn't really care about my looks, i'm a moody person and i'm also grumpy.

with the negative side in me. i'll try to confess with him,so that he will understand and knows with who he deals with. there is nothing wrong if you says the truth. yes, sometimes the truth is hard but it become worst when you are not telling. okey, i'll give you an example. one day, you meet a new guy. you are very hygiene person while he is not really care about hygiene. but he have all the criteria that you want from a guy except about hygiene. what do you do? leave him? bear with his attitude? or tell him that he is supposed to care about his hygiene? well, you know better. you can tell him to see whether he can accept the compliment to improve or not. if let say, if he doesn't..so, it is clear you need to find someone else. thats all. i'm tired and sleepy. good morning monday. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzZZ

p/s:i love to give people second chance cause they always deserve it.

ahmad albab tolong buka pintu

semalam lepas jalan-jalan me"lagha"..berapa habis?uish~..malu la nak cerita..banyak la juga untuk orang-orang yang masih lagi tak bekerja. tapi "sekali-sekala" tak pe kan? ehehe hujung sem makan la maggie kan kan kan..hehe

ok, enough cerita pasal duit yang habis..takut nanti rasa menyesal pulak..masa lepas sampai bilik semalam..tahu apa jadi? i punya kunci tak dapat bukak pintu...oh shit!!! masa tu pulak da dekat pukul 11malam..pulas punya pulas, dia tak boleh juga bukak..i da panic (okey, i memang gelabah..so what?) i call my fried suruh dia datang my room, tolong tengok-tengok kan apa yang patut. mana la tahu tiba-tiba pintu tu boleh terbuka.

tak lama lepas tu dia datang dengan bawa muka penat dia..i'm sorry dear, i tahu u penat..but i have too..i tak nak terperangkap sorang-sorang..sorry,sorry,sorry~ dia try bukak, tak boleh jugak..

then macam-macam cara buat antara nya try kopakkan tombol pintu tu..ok, tempat masuk kunci tu totally rosak kat tangan my friend. lepas tu masih lagi tak boleh bukak cause none of us yang ada experience pasal nak pecahkan pintu ni. tak lama lepas tu rasa fed up sangat, call lagi sorang kawan, pinjam tool box dia..hah~ kali ni dah ada tukul and segala barang..cuba dan masih cuba lagi..tapi FAIL!

waaaarrrrgghhh~! memang masa tu rasa nak mengamuk sangat-sangat call biro segala biro la. tapi tak boleh pakai. service cam sampah. orang ni pas dekat orang ni. orang tu pas dekat orang ni. c'mon la, seriously i memang da meluat. so, we all ambil keputusan sendiri. we all nak rempuh sahaja.

REMPUH?TENDANG? er....kuat ke? tak ada la kuat sangat. jadi suruh la antara we all yang paling gagah tolong rempuh. tapi kesudahan yang dapat di jangka, pintu tu lagi gagah dari we all si lembik ni.

kesudahannya.i terpaksa la merempat kat bilik my friend untuk 1 malam. maybe ahmad albab sahaja yang dapat bukak pintu yang degil ni. hari ni,lepas call unit kecemasan, baru la berjaya pintu dibuka and guess what? pintu bahagian dalam tu da hampir terkopak-kopak..kuat jugak ye pintu tu kiteorg kerja kan. hehehee

p/s: syok nye dapat berenang-renang di katil sendiri. terima kasih pada sesiapa yang membantu. thank you very much!

bila terasa diri bagus sangat

tadi baru terbaca status someone dekat fb. actually, i memang tak kenal sangat pon dia ni, we all pun tak pernah bertegur sapa and definitely we all pon tak pernah ambil berat with each other..but, dia ni boleh ada pulak dalam my friend list. terasa silap besar sangat2 approve dia..hmmmm..i will delete it later.

i bukan nak cerita pasal dia ni, tapi i nak cakap pasal his attitude. hah~ now i'm talking about ATTITUDE la plak kan..orang kata tak ada kesedaran sivik? well i tak cakap la dia tak ada kesedaran sivik, i cume nak cakap dia ni mcam bajet Good Good..like he is an ANGEL of everything..oh god! something was not right here.. i'm trying to be calm but I just can't, maybe because of hormone i guess..pffttt~

well semua orang pernah buat salah kan? i pernah buat salah, orang tu pernah buat salah, dia pernah buat salah, mereka pernah buat salah and semua orang la dalam dunia ni pernah buat salah. tak ada satu pun antara kita-kita ni yang memang angelic habis. tapi persoalan dekat sini, kenapa nak canang satu fb, owh..bukan satu fb, i guess~...tapi 1 DUNIA! kau nak bagi tahu yang orang tu pernah buat salah sekian-sekian kat orang ramai. i betul-betul dan sangat-sangat tak setuju bila orang kata "benda ni sebagai pengajaran untuk orang lain". well dude, kalau kau nak bagi sangat pengajaran kat orang lain, banyak lagi cara yang boleh kau buat selain dari post video from youtube letak kat wall kau or upload it masuk dalam youtube or blog kau. ape yang kau buat tu sebenarnya lebih kepada MEMALUKAN pihak tersebut.

ok, now tiba-tiba ada keluar term " KALAU MAKAN CILI TERASA PEDASNYA". see, nampak sangat tujuan kau tu sebenar-benarnya nak cakap kau tu la yang paling baik and orang yang dalam video tu la paling buruk and those yang terasa tu la pernah buat kan. macam tu ke? macam mana kalau orang yang dalam video tu, dia dah berubah. dan yang penting jadi lebih baik dari kau yang konon-kononnya perasan yang kau tu sangat baik.

seriously, i betul-betul tak faham dengan makhluk yang macam ni. dude~ kau tak tahu future kau nanti macam mana, maybe one of your family nanti ada terkena macam tu. masa tu la kau nak mengamuk satu dunia kan. well what goes around came a round la dude. fikir-fikir la sikit.

oh ya, i tak bercakap for my side or bagi pihak sesiapa, i bersuara atas dasar kesedaran sebab kau dan orang-orang seangkatan dengan kau ni dah semakin melampau-lampau i rasa. sekarang baru i perasan, banyak pulak orang dalam my friend list ni macam perangai kau, i terfikir nak campak dekat mana semua ni.

i rasa kau buat semua ni maybe nak dapat attention. sebab kalau kau tak buat macam tu, kau rasa orang tak notice kewujudan kau..pitty on you! i kesian jugak dengan orang-orang macam ni..tapi i tak rasa pulak nak simpan orang-orang ni jadi kawan sepanjang idup i sampai bila-bila.

you all tak rasa ke someday bila you all make some mistake, this people la yang akan jadi backstabber you all..tak rasa ke? but hope not, kawan-kawan you all semua nya memang baik-baik belaka. i saja yang ada kawan teruk macam ni.

sorry, kalau ada yang terasa. for those yang tiba-tiba tersedar dalam hati "oh, aku pernah buat macam ni". sudah-sudah la tu, kau bukan nye wartawan berbayar. buat tambah dosa yang semakin membukit tu sahaja.

orang kata "jangan sesekali membuka keaiban orang lain kalau mahu keaiban sendiri terjaga"

sekian, terima kasih

p/s: selamat kan bumi kita dari "sampah masyarakat" ini.

phobia (part 1)

there are so many phobia...and i can't even count it because i'm too lazy...more thant 100 i guess..

Bibliophobia - fear of books

kinda funny right..and i wonder, why this person too fear at books..?but i do feeling sorry for
them...based on what i read, the symptoms can be describe as below

symptoms: panic,terror,uncontrollable anxiety,breathlessness,dizziness, dry mouth, excessive sweating, nausea, feeling sick

i guess not many of us have this phobia and maybe not many of us know about it or maybe, they dont even realize they do have this kind of phobia.

Chirophobia- fear of hands

er....i wonder, how this fear does happen? it is out of my mind..seriously, i can't find the answer..is this fear happen from too many watching horror movie???


Kopophobia- Fear of fatigue

sometimes, i do hate feeling fatigue..i didnt workout and exercise..and now, i think i am fat enough..like an elephant yeah! and my father always called me, "Baby Elephant"..is it cute? yes!too cute..thats why i need to control my body weight..i dont want to be an apple or pear..ugly fugly~...no!no!no!..

oh back to this phobia...i think, this kind of phobia most likely into obesity person. maybe i'm wrong.but the reason i state this,because you need to move your muscle, do some workout,feeling tired,feeling exhausted and sweaty in order to burn our fat and calorie..if you dont even like or fear to do all this thing there are no exist HEALTY LEAVING in your life. than, you become we so called The King of Adipose(fat)...and you will suffering with lots of disease and depending on pills to survive...ahhh~ i dont want to be like that...

yeah~ reminder to myself also...hahaha okey, start do some exercise..yeah!yeah!yeah! meet me at park this evening...we can play tennis together...woohoooo!

ok, i will continue later...i need to study! boiboi~

p/s: boiboi = bye bye...heee~

where did you put yourself?

morning sunshine..how are you? fine? great? excellent? gloomy? blue?..oh,whatever it is and whatever you do, i hope you are always in bless.

i think it is too early to express my feeling, i can't sleep last night..yes, i tried but my mind keep on thinking this and that..hmmm~

yesterday, i was found something that make me feel sad, worried and confuse. its about fake identity or fake profile exist in fb using my name and picture. i really don't understand why does this happen. infect, what does he/she got after doing all this thing? satisfaction? enjoy telling lies? enjoy to make humility for others? to make someone love you? to express feeling?

people, this is not the right way to make some one love you, telling lies and express your feeling..also, to make fun of the others..this is not the way..its totally wrong! you don't have to do all this thing to gain attention by creating some lies..and then you're forget of what you have says..once you start lying and it will continue until the truth come out..and at that time, you will regret of what have you done before..shame on you!

why don't you be yourself? yes, the true YOU..why? because you hate yourself? you love being someone else? you can accept yourself? tell me...do and lighten me..tell me?i need to know..it hurts more than you ever thing. i'm not a perfect girl, he is not a perfect man, she is also not a perfect girl..and you, you also not a perfect human..so why don't you stop being other person and think negatively inside you. yes, people sometimes hate you..but why don't you change to better person and stop blaming others. if one person hate you and blame you, its okay..maybe he does not understand the way you think or the way you are. but if too many people hate you and complaining about yourself..they say you are jerk,selfish or some more..then, it probably true..you can't see your attitude..people reflect at their expression, their thought,their judgement from what they see and listen..you always think you are always right,they didn't accept the way you are, they didn't understand you..please stop it!you should stop blaming others or being so negatively..just try to fix yourself to be a better person..people is the mirror of yourself,they can fix you to be perfect, because they love to see the beautiful thing .

love yourself, respect people and at the same time respect yourself, gain some trust, fix what was wrong, stay with positive thing, try to be mature, try to put yourself in higher level by not doing the cheaper attention. then only, people start loving you, trust you, notice the existence of yourself.

i'm not mad or what...i'm just telling of what are you are supposed to be. to make you someone new, start step by step. improve yourself at the same time try too judge yourself..thats all

thanks reader(s)

p/s: i do hope some miracle will come..Allah always by my side. and i will keep on praying till the death of my life. "anything happen with the reason(s), sometimes it is out of our mind to think about it, but believe me..God knows better, He create us..believe His love..and please don't stop praying..because He is the one who are full of love"

study - task - test

lots of work...and i dont know which one should i start first..HELP ME...i'm totally dying now!!!!

engineering management this Friday test and (next week) need to submit the assignment

clinical engineering test (next week)

physiology and anatomy (next 2 weeks)

medical instrument (same week as physiology)

English workplace assignment due date and test in minute meeting assessment what so ever (same week as medical instrument and physiology)

owh...dear, i really need some space for breathing...the exact thing is I NEED A VACATION..URGENTLY! aaahhhhhh~........every week full of stress, task and mess...fine! fine! fine! i should stop complying this and that..i'm a student, this is how it supposed to be..but i'm really tired darling..=( sobs sobs sobs~

aaah~...i wonder, if i can marry right now...yes now! not tomorrow, not day after tomorrow, not next week or next month or next year...i want it right now! marry with rich man,right man,perfect man, short man,tall man, skinny man, fat man, spiderman, superman or batman..but not a gay-man (u are out of my list)...ahahhahahahah

ok..enough! i need to stop wasting my time..and start to work hard..maybe not so hard, a little hard and lot of focus...heeee~

p/s: count the sheep if you cant sleep...gud night love,gud night darling,gud night people~

can i?

i do miss blogging..but i'm too lazy to create my own blog. so, I've use mr. Teddy blog to express my feeling...how cute i am..ahahhaha.. dear, can i be 2nd owner of this blog while you are away..can i?can i? can i?...i know the answer, but i love to ask..and it prove that i'm not stubborn as u think..

emm...okay, before i start, let me introduce myself to all of you..my name is not so important,Mr. Teddy called me Baby...i dont know why? do i look like a baby? am i look too weak? oh gosh...hmmm~ i love if u can call me, Mrs. Teddy..hahahaaha.. i love food and i'm really enjoy with it..nom nom nom..i love cute + tiny + pink + fluffy + weird stuff..oh yes, i love my Sugar and Honey (my hamsters),Gemok and Muncit (my dear teddy) and also my sweet little buddy Mr Teddy so much..heeeeee~

okey~ talk to you later....

p/s: spread some love...help the FREEDOM of PALESTINE

for u...

Dear..

Sorry, lately I’m not feeling well. The weather was not so good; sometimes it is too hot and too cold. Two days I’m suffering for this fever, flu, sore throat and headache. Everything was combining into one and I’m very so not uncomfortable with this sickness.

By the way, you are coming back from holiday and away from home and all entertainment around you. So, I hope you can concentrate on your study and exam. Please make sure your eating on time, I’m happy if you can dinner early before 8pm and start study at 9pm or 10pm.
Oh dear, I’ve made a schedule from Monday to Friday. I hope you like it ^^

p/s:oh yes...please click the picture to view the schedule

Menanti kamu.

hm.. you've been busy lately.. and i've been missing out.. i miss you baby.. i really2 miss you.. where are you now.. i need you.. :( sorry if i'm not being a good friend to you lately.. i want you now.. please..

Reply letter to my love.

baby, i'm so sorry that i didn't reply you earlier. it has been sometime that we didn't meet each other, i mean went out dating and something like that. i miss our time together. and yeah, i still remember how we were back then on our first date. i was too nervous and i sweat a lot when we hold hands. :P sorry.. i can't control it dear. having a cute girlfriend like you is truly a dream come true you know.? hehe.. i felt like i had enough with everything and all i need is just you and you alone. :) you make me happy baby. but i was too stupid to let you go last time. i thought that you understood what i wanted to do. i wanted to be better and if its possible, to be perfect for you when i get back to you. i felt that i wasn't good enough for you. you are too good for me. so i when away thinking that my decision would be right. and when i'm back with you, i'll be a suitable boyfriend for you. a better one than what i use to be. but i didn't know what the consequence of leaving you like that without telling you the truth about what i'm going to do. i lose my grip when i knew that you were with someone else when i let you go. i fall apart. everything when upside down. i couldn't comprehend the heartbreak that i felt back than. and at that point, i know how you felt when i leave you back then. i break you heart. so i deserve to get what i did to you. the feeling was so vicious that i felt like life was not worth living anymore at that point. but thinking that one day, one day maybe we could get back together pull me back to reality. i stop being stupid and selfish. and i think at that time is that i would do anything to make sure you will be happy, even you wouldn't be with me. even i can't reach you. even i can't make you mine. i will always be your shadow. i'll be your listener if you wanted to tell me your story. i'll give you my shoulder if you wanted to cry. i'll be your best friend when you need one. :) and yes. i will be your friend forever. and i know you would do the same to me. because you do help me a lot when i was lost back then.
i do remember when we use to have our dream living together. having 4 kids and living in what kind of house and all. we were so happy to think that our dream would come true someday. but everything will stay as our dreams. :) but hey.. we can still be together right.. as friends.. :)

all in all, you don't have worry about me leaving you anymore. i will be by your side no matter what happen. unless you wanted me to go.. hehe.. i miss you. and i know i will miss you everyday. and you know it. but still. if its possible, i wanted to tell you everyday how much i miss you dear. :) go get yourself a good boyfriend next time okay! don't go searching for a guy like me. you could get a better one than me you know. :)

again "LOVE LETTER" hihi

Dear Mr. Teddy Bear

Almost 5 years we are being together and almost 5 years I think, I’m the one who cause you so much trouble. Dear, for the first time I loss you, I think this is the end of my life so I do a lot of mistake because nobody especially you will care about me…but after a few years and I’m getting older, I realize how stupid I am. L

After several month or year, you are back to me. You lighten my life, you give me the strength and now I can stand alone, be what I supposed to be, learnt from my past and the great thing is YOU always be by my side.

Dear Mr. Teddy Bear

I always dreaming something like I can’t achieve..the family issue was everything that can’t make this thing happen..I want to be your wife, have a three or four kids with you, cooking together, and get some vegetarian meals at night and so on. Oh yes, I think about what color our house will be..i love if its paint with light pink..hehehe how about our babies name?are they cute? Do you prefer all girls or all boys? Or maybe girl first and second should be a boy..yes!yes!yes! dear,lets building castle in the air….woohoooo~….

Dear Mr. Teddy Bear

Back then, I love being with you…will you be my buddy forever? will you? will you? I’m scared of the future, I do hope sometimes there will be a second chance for me to fix all this thing again..do you remember our first date? It is so lovely and I miss the moment where I’m very shy to face you, and your hand..i can’t forget how sweaty your hand..you are nervous but hey! you are still cute okey~..lets hold hand and see if it’s more sweaty or not ^^

I think this time I wrote too long..pfftt~…okay~okay~..i should continue later hehehe

p/s: reply me a.s.a.p or I will kick your-not-so-nice-ass..hehehe

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

o yeah! it has been sometime that i could enjoy being online and listening to good music on youtube without freaking long hours of buffering. and tonight, i'm listening to Daft Punk! Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. haha.. its a freaking catchy song. even though its an old song. but hey! a good music is to be enjoy all the time. and i enjoyed seeing how creatively people can be in making this music video much much better! at first i saw the fingers sign. then after that they do hand sign. and i just notice another one. body sign! awesomely done. ^__^ i don't have much to say. i'll just show u guys those vids i'm talking about. enjoy.










The finger play!






The hand sign!






The body work! 
all are nicely done! and i love em all.! ^__^

A reply for your love letter.

i never thought of being able to live without u ever baby. i know that it would be impossible for us to be together, but i never give up on us. i still believe that one day we could be together. that's why everyday i would remind u how much i love u. how much i want u. how much i miss u. and please don't ever say things like u feel like u are a piece of waste or something like that ever again. or i will bite u honey! u know how important u are to me right.? so please love yourself. don't say like that anymore okay.? u use to tell me that, if i wanted to love someone, i need to love myself first. so, that's what i did. i love myself and i love u. so u need to love yourself too. u always say that u are getting fat and all. but i never see that on u. all i see i the same person that i'm in love with almost 5 years ago. :) . the one that melt me every time she smile. i love u baby. please please please. stay with me even we can never be together. and as for me. the girl named "Yun" haven't start to grow on my heart yet. so honestly,  i haven't start to have feeling for her. maybe one day i will. but for now. my heart is only for u. and how i wish it will always be like that. :) and one more thing. next time. write me a proper love letter okay baby. and all i want is about us. not anyone else okay.? ^__^ .

p/s : just to remind u; i love u! wekk :P

Love Letter for the the little cute one =)

dear love,

it such been a month i think we never met and i think i'm too tired to count the day and thats the reason why i'm stop waiting.. but i think you are more patient than me and the only you just do is to remind me how special myself to you..and i just keep on silence when you says something like "i love u" and "i miss you"..i'm sorry, i'm too cruel to you cause you can count how many i reply back..but darling, don't worry even you didnt says something like that, i'm very well known how much your love to me..but for me, i want you become more stronger than before thats why i keep on silence..even though i think by the way i react you should can notice what i'm feeling to you..=)

dear, sometimes..i think i'm not the right girl for you.. you should open your heart..you are too kind for me,but i'm just a piece of waste just need to throw up and if you think you are very responsible person..you can also recycle me...ok,which type i am? glass?paper?or plastic? hihihi..ok, i'm very annoying right?...sorry~sorry~sorry~ but seriously, i meant what i'v says..okay! the gir name YUN is just look like suit for you..increase your effort,then she is yours.. ^^

dear, i dont know what i need to write about..this is my first letter..and it didnt look like love letter...again~sorry...T.T

p/s: err...my grammar n verb not good as yours...but i'l try my best..:( sorry

Maybe its time for you to move on.

yeah. i think its time babe. its your turn to have your own happiness.
he seems like a good guy to me. even i never meet him before. but i think
he is much much better than me. you do deserve him. and i'm sure he'll be able
to make you happy better than me. and the fact that we can never be together,
i would like to make sure that you found your happiness. maybe we weren't ment
to be together from the start anyway. like i told you last time. maybe i'm just
a mistake that you should remember as a lesson and move on. :) i don't know either
you love me anymore or not. i'm not very sure of that. you've changed from time to time.
you are not the same as the person i know before. who are very fond to me.
its like you can now live without me. you won't be needing me anymore. and i'm very proud of you.
i won't let myself being the one who will weighting you down. just fly. like a rocketeer!
^_^ you'll be better off without me.i don't want to be the one that stop you from being with him.
he'll take care of you, that's for sure. even if your heart do changed and begin to love him
back, it won't change the fact that i'll still love you. but you don't have to worry about
that. i won't be the obstacle in your relationship. i'll teach myself to manage on my own.
maybe one day, i'll found my own happiness. just like you did. :) you should start think
about yourself and stop thinking about me now. you even have someone else to think about now.
so go on, i'll support you in what ever you do. i'll be your friend in need. just like
you wanted me to be. go enjoy yourself.and please please please do not worry about me,
it might not seem like it, but i'll be okay..if you need anything, or anyone to talk to,
i'll always be there for you.. ^__^

i know we wont be able to be together anyway. but somehow i refusse the truth.
i bend my emotion sensor and my logical sense, trying to tell myself that we might
still have a chance being together oneday. and i wish it everyday that it might come
true. and i know how u feel hruting inside u just being strong. u miss how mush we
were in love back in the days. i know it, because i also miss the same thing.
if only i knew that i couldn't live without u earlier, i would do anthing to make
your family like me.but it was all too late for me to realize it earlier.. i'm so stupid..
i want to be like u.. being able to show that i'm also strong and i can manage even
we can't be together and in the same time trying to make you happy.. the word best friend
does hurt me a lot.. i couldn't cope yet with using the word best friend to u.. but i'll
try my best to comprehend it. we can only wish and plan like we wanted.. but we can't set
our own fate.. u wanted me to trying to find your replacement as soon as possible because
u can't stand see me hurt so much.. that shows how u love me so much.. always worried
about me and everything.. even sometime i wanted u to hate me.. hate me and throw me away..
coz i'm weighthing u down.. i don't have the strenght to let u go from the start.
i pull u don't with me.. so, if u want to be happy, just throw me away..
dont care about me.. care about yourself, your own happiness.. u deserve it..
go on with the guy u like.. i'll wish u the best wishes ever.. i wish that u would be
happier with the new guy. and someday u might forget about me.. the small mistake that
u been with long time ago.. :) i'll smile and hope that u will only shed tears of joys
and no more tears of pain from u.. and maybe one day, i will be able to live with the
truth that u are not mine anymore.. even if it still hurt some how whenever i remember
about us. if only i'm that strong.. if only.. if only everything is just a long nightmare,
and waking up seeing u sleep beside me as my wife.. if only.. if only i can wake from
this nightmare. if only i could erase our memories.. our love.. our promises.. us..
everything.. if only i could do that.. u might be able to live happy without me. my princess.

cute.

Time after time.

i have so much to tell u, so much things i want to share.. i don't even know where to start.. part that i hate and part that i love.. my new class.. my new friends.. my new roomate.. everything here is new to me.. but of all the things here, all i want is u.. i missed u so much.. for the whole month i couldn't see u.. i wanted to see u last week on my 4 days break.. that's the only time i could see u.. but u resist on meeting me.. but its okay.. i'm okay.. i've already waited u for years.. maybe i could wait for few more years.. when i'm far from u, u were busy with your friends and everything.. u couldn't give much attention to me.. nah.. but its okay.. i'm not sad.. u needed space.. that's all.. i'm alright.. sorry that i could meet u on your birthday this year.. i'm so sorry.. i was far from u and i couldn't get any holiday.. u told me how your family hates me.. but still, i love u.. we have been together for so many years.. i know when it come between me and your family, your family should come first. i know.. because if i were u, i would do that too.. so, from now onward.. u don't have to worry about my feeling anymore.. i'm a grown up now honey.. i can take care of myself.. it's just u that i'm worried.. i wish i cold look after u.. but, no matter what will happen next, i will still love u.. i don't have to say it, and u already know it right.. :) i couldn't promise that i won't do any stupid things.. but don't worry, i'll try my best to not do it.. i'll make more new friends just like u ask me too.. i'll improve my social skills just like want me too.. i'll focus on my study just like u advice me too.. maybe 1 day your mom will like me.. and when that day come.. i'll be the happiest guy on earth.. :) i love u.. forever and always.. thanks for everything sweetheart.. :)

New Chapter Begin.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”


and so the time has come.. goodbye 2010.. welcome 2011.. and its time for me to start anew.. :) its for the best.. goodbye for now. i might not be online for a while..