Insomnia.

i've been having problems to sleep at night nowadays.. i can stay up late till 5 to 6 a.m. in the morning.. damn.. whats wrong with my body??? hm.. so i'm trying to sleep early.. but usually, i fail.. i'll be drifting away.. being out of range of my reality.. entering the fantasy that my own mind created.. smiling alone like a crazy person.. thinking about this and that.. and when i realize it, it was already 4 a.m. wth.. what is wrong with me.. do i need sleeping pills?? hm.. maybe i need em.. but i dont like pills.. i want something natural.. like vegetables.. the green one if u know what i mean.. haha!! damn i'm bored right now.. dont know what to do.. i just finish my class early cuz my lecture have to end the class early as he have a meeting to attend.. i havent had my lunch yet.. but i'm not that hungry.. so.. what should i do.. sleep... haha! thats it.. sleep time!!!........
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

New resolution.

i've been thinking for a new idea.. not exactly an idea.. but.. er.. a resolution.. well.. the things is that i want my old figure back.. haha! shit.. i'm getting fatter and fatter everyday.. damn u got to stop eating fast food man! haha! hm.. i use to have a good figure.. i guess.. haha! then how come those girl say that i'm cute?? haha! wtf.... so.. from now on.. i'll try to go on diet.. diet?? wtf is that?? i wouldn't call it diet.. that's too funny.. haha! i'll call it reincarnation! nice one hah.. hahaha!!! it's a boring sunday evening.. what should i do now? go for a swim? fuck no.. go for a jog.. damn i'm lazy.. play dota? no mood... hm.. then what??? go masturbate?? fuck thats boring to death... so.. i decided to just go online for a while.. browsing peoples pic in myspace.. open up fb..taking up some stupid quiz.. do some shit.. open up youtube.. hearing canon rock.. Beethoven... fur Elise.. moonlight sonata.. fuck it... tenacious d.... bla3.. and so and forth.. etc.. i don't know what to write anymore and i'm feeling pretty dumb right now.... but still i dont know what to do... cut myself? hm.. i've lostt my knife.. dont know where did i put it.. damn it! so, what should i do?? sleep? unfortunately.. i'm not sleepy.. how can i sleep.. hm.. eat? i'm not hungry.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......... ahah! watch porn.. ... but i'm not in the mood.. wth.. hm.. ok.. i'll just listen to the music.. put all of em together and play it random.. let see what song will come out.. haha! metallica - nothing else matter. damn thats a good song.. two thumbs up!!

Setting myself.

i've been always wondering, what am i going to be in the next 5 years.? well.. if u ask me.? i'll can only say "i don't know...." hm... i've already took a wrong step in my decision last time and cause me a fucking lost of almost half a year and what did i get?? nothing! and now, with nothing to loose, i think that i've change.. but in the end.. nothing change.. i'm always the same me.. with fucking sick mind.. bless with wonderful family and friends.. push to the edge of a broken hearted man, i'm still me. trying to do sick things.. creating scene just to get attention from my friends.. hm.. well, i guess i better start something. start moving. or else, i can never change.. i have to set myself to be a mover.. i dont want to die with people just remembering my name... but i want to make people remember me as a mover.. a person who can advise others.. hah! that's it.. i'll change my course and i'll be a motivator.. that's sound nice.. haha!